I’ve had BDSM and sexual thoughts on my mind all week following last weekend’s events. I think that I was unsure that I would ever be in a relationship with somebody who liked it when I was in control in the bedroom and was happy to experiment a little. Obviously, at this point, I don’t know exactly how much Fleur would be willing to try. It is very much a matter of easing her in. I want to make sure she knows over the next few weeks and months that we don’t always have to have kink in our sexual activities. I want to make sure that she is always comfortable, that I don’t do anything she isn’t 100% excited about and that I give her amazing orgasms. I want to give her fantastic pleasure. She is so restrained in a lot of her life and always puts others before herself, so she deserves it. I also want to build up her trust in me, so that she might be willing to try some more adventurous things as time goes on. I really want to have an exciting sex life. I want us both to experiment and remain passionate for one another.
I thought it would be interesting to go through a BDSM limits check-list, mainly for a bit of inspiration. I was going to post the full completed check-list on here, but I completed it in word and apparently WordPress doesn’t like coloured text. I did get a bit of inspiration from it though and I thought I would write a little bit about ideas that excite me;
This has always been the big turn-on for me. I used to practice bondage on myself and my toys when I was a kid, before I even knew it was a kink. I’m so glad that Fleur is happy to experiment a little with bondage. It was incredibly hot having her tied spread eagle, completely naked on my bed. I look forward to trying different ties on her and seeing her in all these helpless positions. There are so many other types of bondage I’d love to try; Saran wrap, suspension bondage, whole body restriction bondage, chains, under clothes bondage, spreader bars, prolonged bondage…..etc.etc.etc.
This is always a tricky one. Anal has a bit of a bad reputation and I think it would be difficult to find many girls willing to give this a go. I’ve always enjoyed using anal toys on myself (and anal toys, like small butt-plugs, may be the best way to try and introduce it) and I think it is something everyone should try. I don’t know if it is the ‘ick’ factor or the imagined pain that puts most people off? I would certainly get a massive hard-on to tie Fleur over a chair or sofa and have anal sex with her. I’d also like for her to fuck me with a strap-on. I’m doubtful this is an avenue I will ever be able to pursue, which I think is a shame.
Another scary one for most people. This is scary because there are obviously risks involved and so it has to be done very carefully and you have to be able to fully trust the other person. I like the excitement and danger of this and I’ve always wanted to try breath play, both as the receiver and giver. In a relationship, I think this is a very powerful display of trust, which is a big turn-on too.
I’ve not really had much experience of this. My ex-girlfriend wore lingerie a couple of times for me and it was a big turn-on. I really love the look of a girl in lingerie. I’d like to explore this more and possibly other clothing too. I’d consider costumes, such as nurses etc. though they aren’t a big deal for me. I would quite like to see Fleur in PVC at some time, as my submissive.
I’m also going to put collars under this header. Collars are a massive turn on for me. I would really like Fleur to wear one when she is adopting the role of my submissive. My issue is that I’m not entirely comfortable with liking collars. Whilst I’m very turned-on by the idea of role-playing sex slavery, I wonder if I’m a bad person because of it? I think that in our relationship, anything we do is for mutual pleasure. I wonder if slavery would swing that balance completely out and make things weird?
I’m really turned-on at the idea of doing a physical examination. Paying close attention to every single part of Fleur’s body. I like the idea of her undressing, then me examining her. After examining her, I would wash her in the shower, then perform a detailed examination of her genitals (and possibly anus) using medical instruments.
I think this is a must. BDSM is all about sensation and the excitement of it. I’d love to tie Fleur up, blindfold her to enhance her other senses and then play with her body for a length of time using ice, fire, hot wax, instruments, vibrators and my body.
This sort of comes under sensation play. Pain has always been quite a big turn-on for me. I enjoy receiving pain in sexual scenarios (It heightens everything for me). I also get turned on by seeing girls in pain in sexual situations. I think it is not so much the pain but the determination and the dedication to their partner. If somebody is willing to endure pain for their own and partner’s pleasure, it is very commendable. I don’t think that Fleur will be interested in exploring this avenue, but I hope she will consider dipping her toe in over time.
This would only be in private (as with everything else – sharing is not something I would be interested in at this time). Whilst Fleur is adopting the role of my submissive at home one day, I would like to force her to be naked for me. I think it would be very exciting for me and hopefully help her gain more confidence in her appearance.
This can include both video and photo. I’ve always been turned on by the idea of this. I like porn and looking at other people in sexual scenarios. I would like to have a porn of my own to enjoy. I would want to keep any identifying footage private, but I have also seen blogs where they share unidentifiable photos and videos of submissives. I like the idea of other people enjoying what we do and people being jealous of what I have with Fleur.
I don’t think that Fleur would try this. She almost certainly wouldn’t be happy with sexual photos of herself being posted on the internet, even if they were unidentifiable. I don’t know if there is a chance of sexual photos of videos at some point, but if there is, it would be a long way down the line – probably after marriage. Without asking, she had made it quite clear in the past that she wouldn’t make these.
All in all, there is a lot that I would like to try. I’m really hopeful that Fleur will trust me enough to at least give most of it a go and find out for herself if she likes it. From the way she is around me, I think she is pretty obsessed with me and she feels like she is not worthy of me and that I might have settled for her. This may mean that she is willing to try a little bit harder to ensure she maintains my interest. I love her and hope that if she does try these things, it will give her loads of excitement and pleasure.